Donald Trump has given Boris Johnson a Chinese burn, a wedgie and taken his dinner money away after blundering Boris was caught on camera telling tales during World Leaders’ playtime earlier today.
Trump later said: ‘I have given him one last chance but if he goofs up again then he’s outta my gang, and he’ll not get off so lightly next time. He needs to understand that hanging around dissing me with that two-faced sneak Trudeau and his pals isn’t nice. If he does it just once more he’ll be de-bagged and have itching powder rubbed into his genitals.’
Meanwhile appearing alongside Trump, a contrite and sheepish Johnson said: ‘I say you fellows, look here, I never made fun of Trump. Never did, never did, never did. So there! And anyway I wasn’t even at Watford with old Frenchie Macron and that woman who said she was a Princess. It’s all just nasty fibs and lies.’
However tiring of Johnson’s protests Trump kicked him up the arse causing Johnson to howl ‘Yarooh! Beast!’
Trump was last seen leading Johnson away tweaking him by the ear and shouting: ‘Come on stoopid! We’re having afternoon tea in the American Common Room and we need somewhere to stack the toasted crumpets’.