Johnson to reach out to new pals in’t North

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The first item on Boris Johnson’s to-do list is to organise reverse elocution lessons for many of the toff MPs who have been elected for previously staunch working class northern constituencies. With this in mind and leading by example, Johnson has already taken the Yorkshire module of the party’s new ‘Oop North’ programme, actually trying it out live on a radio phone-in this morning.

Speaking falteringly to BBC Radio Leeds he said: ‘Eee, bah goom, lad. ‘Appen there’s a reet bunch of’t new intake ooz just too posh and ooz never et tripe, black pudding or Yukshire ‘ot pot. But we will rectify t’it situation reet speedily, like, and have this kind of scran added t’it menu in’t ‘Ouse of Commons Cafe. Aye, and what’s more lads, here’s a solemn promise. I will never allow that daft bugger Jacob Rees-Mogg, anywhere north of Oxford. Lad’s a reet barmpot.’

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Posted: Dec 15th, 2019 by

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