Despite wearing a knock-off Lacoste polo shirt and his faux Burberry, first time Tory voter Fred Perkins was surprised and disappointed when he was still refused a drink at his local golf club.
Fred had been convinced that by voting for Cecil de la Hunt, his local Conservative candidate, he would be catapulted up the social ladder and that he would take his rightful place with the great and the good of the town. I don’t know what went wrong at the golf club, said Fred, as soon as I opened my mouth, I was told that they don’t need any casual labourers and that I was trespassing. I tried to tell them that I’m one of them now, told them I’d voted Tory, but they just got very rude. One colonel type shouted, “Release the hounds”. I had to get away sharpish”, he said.
“What’s made it worse,” said Fred, “is that I’m not welcome anywhere now. I went down to the food bank to pick up my usual bags of food and they told me to piss off and go and ask Boris to buy me dinner. I think my might cancel my subscription to Horse and Hounds now.”