Melanie Phillips appointed as Middle East peace envoy

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Reaching out with love, The Times journalist has been nominated to bring peace and understanding to war-torn regions and a ‘big bag of s.t.f.u.’ for the people of Palestine. After the success of Tony Blair bringing stability to the region, Melanie Phillips is the next logical choice; with her unique of combination of the ethics of the Daily Mail and the journalistic rigor of The Beano.

With a seasonal message of goodwill to rival the Queen’s, Melanie writes that: ‘The concept of “Islamophobia” is thus profoundly anti-Jew…Islamophobia is not equivalent to antisemitism. It facilitates it.’. Which sounds a bit grumpy, but is actually filled with tolerance and respect – certainly all those letters, just in the wrong order.

She is already being tipped as the next Nelson Mandela. A Nobel spokeswoman said: ‘Yes, terrorist Anders Behring Breivik quoted Melanie’s stance against immigration – but only the fun parts. Just because she goes on TV saying 1.6 billion Muslims are trying to murder the rest of the world, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a sense of humour.

Famous for her anti-racist credentials, Melanie will be joining Katie Hopkins and Tommy Robinson on charity single ‘Do they know it’s Christmas? Of course not, they’re foreign!’.

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Posted: Dec 18th, 2019 by

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