New voting rules designed to prevent any political party other than the Conservatives to hold a majority include the requirement that all voters have to be recognised by BBC correspondent Laura Kuenssberg.
‘We considered insisting on photo ID, but apparently anybody can take a photo these days,’ said a government advisor, ‘even the poor and homeless have iPhones,’ he insisted. ‘And if they haven’t, I expect they can pick one up at those trendy foodbank places they like to hang out in,’ he added.
Strategists have noted that Laura appears to have first sight of many votes on and before election day and has met a lot of people – mainly Conservatives but not excluding a handful of Labour senior role holders, so it isn’t unreasonable that she acts as a filter.
‘Blimey, I’ll be busy on election day,’ said Laura today, but admitted it should be doable. ‘Apparently I can have a peerage as well, for services to the Conservative Party, but I’m not sure I could mix the two roles as the voter ID job involves working and apparently that’s not what peers are paid to do.’