Man shreds 12 month’s worth of unread meeting notes

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A Suffolk man has just consigned thousands of important meeting notes to oblivion in a ferocious festive purge.

Tom Hayden began expunging his year’s work at 08:45 and by mid morning had recklessly destroyed thousands of unrealised ideas and incriminating action lists, freeing up an entire desk-pod and saving himself a good deal of potential work at the same time.

‘I know we can all ‘um’ and ‘ah’ about whether we need to keep this sort of thing’ advised the 37 year old, ‘but I like to take the Fahrenheit 451 approach and terminate with extreme prejudice. Out of sight? Out of shite, more like’.

‘Aside from the nagging feeling that I should have been following up on these things, the sheer volume of paper in my drawers had become logistical problem, and the weight was beginning to have structural implications for the building’ he explained.

‘Flow charts? – Bin them! Business cards? – Down the hatch! Half-started proposals? – PROPOSE THIS!’ he exclaimed, jamming them into the shredder with a broom one-handed, whilst nonchalantly examining a mince pie with the other.

‘Write this up, Call this person, Calculate..yadda-yadda-yadda….who’s got time to do these things when there are meetings to go to and notes to be taken? Honestly, we’d be better of to skip the note-taking and all just agree that the only actions for anyone – forever – are to get the next set of meetings booked. We’d get a lot more done’

‘Oh look, an agenda for January, well I’m for agenda equality myself. Tis the season to be jolly, get-it-in-the-bin and f*ck-off home!’

{Sounds of shredding}

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Posted: Dec 21st, 2019 by

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