Man, 98, dies

Screenshot 2019-12-21 at 09.48.46

News agencies are reporting that an unnamed 98 year old man has died. ‘It’s speculation, obviously, but we think it likely that a man, who hasn’t reached the age of 100 by about two years, might be dead,’ said a reporter for a major newspaper.

The government has refused to comment beyond stating that ’98 year old men die all the time. What is important is that they are still allowed to vote until such time as their death is confirmed’, adding that the continuance of voting rights should only apply to the very old, for seemingly obvious reasons.

Motoring organisations the AA and the RAC have declined to comment in a joint statement. ‘We don’t comment on the tragic deaths of individual 98 year old men, but believe that Britain’s roads would be safer for all the public should a 98 year old man be dead,’

The Royal Family have declined to comment, stating that it wasn’t Palace policy to confirm or deny that 98 year old men had died. ‘As recently as last year we refused to confirm or deny a 97 year old man had died, now we are expanding the policy to include 98 year old men. We don’t anticipate extending the policy to not confirming or denying that a 99 year old man has died in the next year or so,’ said a Palace spokesperson.

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Posted: Dec 22nd, 2019 by

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