Following the success of the 2016 EU Referendum and the 2019 General Election, both of which removed many unnecessary rights and protections, leading Tory Duncan Shit has proposed to bring back full slavery via a new Referendum.
The proposals require a simple majority on the question: Should we become slaves and crawl around on all fours licking the boots of our masters or not?
Clearly the decision will not be an easy one, but the ‘Yes’ camp have promised free daily ice cream and biscuits to all bootlickers in the event that ‘Yes’ wins. They have also convinced many that the problems we face are mainly due to us standing upright in the presence of our betters and that it’s non-slavery which is causing all the poverty and unhappiness.
Already patriotic Britons are loudly clamouring to end freedom and to permanently serve their Tory masters trusting they will be safe in their forelock-tugging bondage, given plenty of treats, and hardly ever disemboweled for insolence.
With the ‘No’ camp, led by a divided opposition who’ve gone on holiday for most of the campaign it’s quite likely that ‘Britons ever, ever, ever shall be slaves’ but you can’t argue with democracy just because your side loses…even if it does mean everlasting servitude for you and all your descendants.