Boris: ‘What do you mean I have to get Brexit ‘done’?


Conservative party Conference in Manchester. Day 4

Picture shows: Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, making his keynote speech at the close of the conference today.

The newly elected Prime Minister has been shocked to discover that the words he has been uttering for the last month, might actually signify something. A confused Mr. Johnson had been blithely parroting the slogan ‘get Brexit done’, thinking it was some kind meaningless phrase; like ‘to be honest with you’, ‘garden bridge’ or ‘planned pregnancy’.

An abrasive spokesman said: ‘Surely, this can’t be a legally binding contract? The PM had his fingers crossed. Besides, he can’t be expected to read the small print and couldn’t possibly understand what all those big words mean’.

The enormity of what he may have promised, has only started to dawn on him as civil servants keep looking at him, handing him pieces of paper to sign and generally acting like he has some sort of job to do. Unfortunately hiding under his desk for four years is not an option.

The spokesman explained: ‘Done has many meanings. When Mr. Johnson said ‘done’ he most likely meant done like a piece of toast. Beautifully golden on both sides, smothered in rich unctuous butter with maybe jam or peanut butter on top. He wasn’t actually suggesting finished or resolved. But if he’s given a little time then I’m sure he may eventually get Brexit done, in much the same way as the people who voted Tory for the first time in the election have been well and truly done.’

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Posted: Dec 24th, 2019 by

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