Rees-Mogg opens festive visitor attraction

Urchins

Jacob Rees-Mogg is to open a Christmas-themed visitor attraction named Urchins at Xmas.

Tickets cost £35 per person, with special rates of £45 for the unemployed and foreigners, when from Boxing Day visitors can experience a Dickensian Christmas and see firsthand the squalour and deprivation rife at the time.

Mr Rees-Mogg said: ‘This simply splendid depiction of an 1840s London slum will afford the public a wonderful opportunity to prepare for future Christmases. Our many tableaux, magic lantern presentations and diagrams will illustrate the contrast between the haves and the have nots. A contrast that will sharpen significantly in its focus post-Brexit once our policies to financially improve the lives of the already very well-off gain maximum traction this coming year.’

However critics have slammed the venture as ‘a barefaced exercise in exploitation of the disadvantaged’ after stories emerged young children are being employed to play the part of street urchins on zero hours contracts for a pittance.

‘Tish, pish, poppycock and piffle,’ said Rees-Mogg. ‘The veritable king’s ransom of almost a penny-ha’penny a day is an excellent rate of remuneration, and will see youngsters incentivised to embrace the world of hard work.’

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Posted: Dec 24th, 2019 by

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