Tesco has expressed utter disbelief that its Christmas cards produced in China for next to nothing could have been made by people acting against their own free will.
After a message from Shanghai prisoners was found hidden in a box of cards sold by the supermarket, a spokeswoman said it was unthinkable that anything like forced prison labour could happen in such an enlightened and tolerant country.
‘Incredibly cheap products from China are made in opulent surroundings by cheery and autonomous executives, many of whom don’t even need to work because they are already minted,’ she said.
‘We can only assume workers wrote the message as a joke after over-indulging on fine wine at one of their notoriously lavish Christmas parties.’
‘That’s what the factory told us anyway, so that’s all good and nothing more to see here whatsoever.’