Trump demands extradition for Camberwick Green’s Windy Miller

Windy

Political commentators are becoming more concerned over the mental health of President Donald Trump after his recent appearance at a student summit in Florida.

In a rambling address The President revealed that in the grand scheme of the Cosmos the Earth is a really tiny place, something that seemed to amaze his adoring audience. However things then took a real sideways turn when he turned his attention to wind turbines, or as he referred to them – windmills.

To rapturous cheers, whoops and hollers from the crowd Mr Trump announced that he has instigated extradition proceedings and requested Boris Johnson hands over Camberwick Green’s Windy Miller labeling him ‘an enemy of America’.

‘This guy Miller’s some kind of cookie,’ said Trump, ‘he’d have us believe that he’s a real swell guy, just grinding wheat and stuff and timing the walk into his windmill to make sure he doesn’t get smacked on the head by the sails. But as the inventor of windmills he is responsible for tremendous fumes and gases. No one knows more about windmills than me. I’ve studied them. Yes I have.’

‘Miller has effectively killed hundreds of our wonderful American bald eagles. If you take a stroll past his place in Camberwick Green near London England they’re just there laying on the ground. Eagles everywhere. Hundreds of them. These majestic birds are a protected species and yet he can kill them and nobody says a word. WOW! He’s a bad guy, so bad. We gotta get him. Johnson said he could get me Captain Snort but I told him I don’t want that guy. I said I need Miller, get me Miller. I-want-Miller!’

It’s understood that upon receipt of the extradition papers Boris Johnson said: ‘Fuck me, Dominic, Trump’s really lost it. How the hell are we going to lie our way out of this one? He’s going to want positive action. Wait, I know, do we have any other important assets like Cobham we could let him have instead?’

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Posted: Dec 27th, 2019 by

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