John Craven in Cliff Richard calendar shoplifting shock

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BBC Countryfile presenter John Craven has been accused of stealing a 2020 Cliff Richard calendar from a Cotswold branch of W H Smith.

The shocking revelation came to light when Craven was seen stuffing a large object into his Barbour jacket. After buying a bag of Werther’s Original butter candies and a £1 Lottery scratch card the presenter was stopped by a female member of staff as he left the store.

“When I asked Mr Craven to open his jacket, he was a bit surprised and said, ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ I said, yes, you’re one of them hot hunks off Celebrity Love Island, now open your coat.”

The presenter then said that he had absent-mindedly stuffed the Cliff Richard calendar inside his jacket but had meant to pay for it.

However, in a police statement he later admitted that he was ‘sick to death’ of the BBC Countryfile Calendar after years of flogging it on the Show every Sunday night and, as a fan of Cliff Richard he had a calendar collection going back to 1962.

“If I see a picture of another Tit, cute hedgehog or family of ducks crossing a road, I’ll go insane.”

John Craven’s future on the Show now hangs in the balance.

“I know I’ve been very foolish,” he said in an apologetic letter to Countryfile producers, “but I’m quite relieved that everything is now out of the shadows.”

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Posted: Dec 31st, 2019 by

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