Spokesblueberry Gavin Jones revealed today that there is an epidemic of gloom among his fruity chums because they feel they can’t possibly live up to being called a superfood in adverts on websites.
Gavin told us ‘Some of us hang around with pancakes and that’s nice. Yogurt accompanies us too, which is cultured and reassures us that we don’t have to live up to the hype. We like to travel in packs and go in muffins sometimes.
‘We never asked to be lauded as nutritionally miraculous. We are low in calories and we do contain 16% vitamin C but a lot of other fruits are similar and we can’t make a difference to your weight if you insist on eating a small handful of us followed by a whole pack of chocolate Hobnobs.
‘Also, the whole concept of superfoods is just nonsense, but humans love the idea of it and we’re finding it very hard to cope with. It used to be the grapefruits that got this treatment but now it seems to be us. No-one seems to have noticed we’re deep purple rather than blue either but we fear that being pointed out.
‘We’d like to be known as deep purple berries then in brackets an adequate food but are wary of a legal challenge from Richie Blackmore. We are blue in temperament because of all this. It’s tantamount to an identity crisis’.