Princess Anne goes feral

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Buckingham Place has called an Emergency Session following the news that the Princess Royal has gone feral. The Princess, who was on a weekend shooting visit to Balmoral, was seen by staff leaving the Castle on Sunday morning in a ‘rather-bedraggled’ state.

It is thought that the pressure of being patron to over 300 charities, and possibly having to step into Prince Harry’s shoes as he relinquishes his Royal duties, led to the events taking place.

“Her Royal Highness was clad in a rough tartan rug and carrying a large machete along with a wicker trug. Staff from the Royal household thought at first that she may have gone picking mushrooms, however this is hardly the season for funghi.” Said a Palace spokesperson.

The Princess was later spotted by an estate worker wrestling with a large salmon in a wild stretch of the River Dee, naked from the waist down with her hair “very unkempt” and shouting obscenities.

Police and mountain rescue personnel have been notified and are concentrating their search in an area of dense woodland where evidence of small campfires and a discarded pair of Crockett & Jones’ handmade leather brogues have been found.

Members of the public have been warned not to approach the Princess under any circumstances and to keep dogs on leads should they see her.

Her Majesty the Queen has called on all remaining senior Royals to join her at Sandringham where they will be securely held until further notice

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Posted: Jan 12th, 2020 by

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