The retired Pope, Benedict XVI, has said priests should remain celibate, despite himself being in his sexual prime. He boasted, at 92 he could have any woman he wanted – he just could not remember what to do with them.
He insisted that keeping a lid on your libido helps your ‘focus’. Specifically focusing on how to avoid cooperation with the US Centre for Constitutional Rights’ investigation into the Vatican’s historical abuse.
Theologians agree that Celibacy can lead you to miraculous outcomes – such as Pope Alexander VI performing the miracle of fathering at least seven illegitimate children, while celibate. Celibacy is also a great cover story, when you get caught with a choir boy.
Said a spokesman: ‘It’s not easy for Pope Benedict to give up sex. He’s a fanny magnate.’