ITV 2 has announced it is to sponsor a relaunch of the now defunct Avenue of Stars, but that controversially, it is to ‘dig up’ any remaining old flagstones and will only be inducting reality TV stars in future.
‘The last time this was tried they inducted acts like Morecambe and Wise and Bruce Forsyth,’ says ITV 2 spokesman Greg Parsons, ‘but they’re meaningless to today’s Box Set and Streaming generation. And anyway quite honestly what did they ever really achieve?’
‘Contemporary programming is all about reality television and its true superstars, and believe, me the new Avenue is going to reflect that. We’re getting rid of the oldies like Alec Guinness, Noël Coward and all the other nobodies who were previously represented… although I believe we might keep Ant & Dec.’
It’s understood there will be a glitzy relaunch ceremony next month hosted by former Big Brother personality, Rylan Clarke-Neal, when he himself will become the first new inductee along with ‘Nasty’ Nick Bateman, some woman who auditioned for X Factor and YouTube Vlogger, Johnny Spamhead, whose dedicated channel where he ‘just acts the dick’ attracts over 3,000,000 hits a week.
The news has gone down well on Twitter with @ShazzaTOWIE tweeting – This is fantastic. I can’t wait for the relaunch. I’ll be there #AvenueOfStars20. While another, @LoveIslandBecky wrote – Best news ever. Just so long as Michael McIntyre doesn’t get a star #AvenueOfStars20