Stocks of servile grovelling and obsequiousness now running dangerously low

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The Department of Words and Phrases has issued a warning that following the recent crisis in the Royal Family, stocks of servile grovelling and gushing drivel are running dangerously low and are now all but totally depleted.

Speaking to reporters earlier today a spokesman said: ‘While reporting the Royal Couple’s wish to step down from duties, I’m afraid there has been much too much forelock-tugging and servile grovelling in respect of not only Harry and Megan but also other Royals. Not just in the spoken word but in writing too.’

‘The use of carelessly trotted-out unwarranted praise regarding events such as their wedding, their subsequent tours and the birth of their son, Archie, has virtually used up all available stocks.’

Supplies are understood to be so low that it has become necessary to introduce rationing, with both Alistair Stewart and Nicholas Witchell having been given formal warnings they will be jailed for any further profligate usage during the current national emergency.

From today any remaining stocks of phrases typically used to blow smoke up arses of Royals must be now reserved exclusively for when referencing Her Majesty The Queen, Prince Charles, Prince William, The Duchess of Cambridge or Prince George.

Meanwhile in an attempt to restock supplies to normal levels the spokesman confirmed Britain has made an urgent request, reaching out to North Korea who could undoubtedly help as they have an endless supply of mindless sycophancy reserved for their own despotic leader, Kim Jong-un

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2020 by

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