Observant members of the public have questioned the wisdom of space army clothed in jungle camouflage. Yet the President has declared a real and immediate threat to the Earth from cosmic vegetables, whose sole intent is to stop Mr. Trump enjoying his Big Mac.
The US Space Force must be prepared for hand to hand combat, against a range sentient cabbages. Only camouflage combined with a julienne peeler can defeat the menace of a space carrot.
President Bush famously rallied against broccoli, but Trump is the first President to declare war on interstellar sources of vitamins. Launching a fleet of stainless steel onion choppers, Mr. Trump threatened to reduce the alien vegetables to soup.
However the invaders, say they have been misunderstood: ‘We come in peas’.