‘FannyCandleGate’ secret revealed!


For everyone who has recently been informed of the latest success of the Goop website and asked the question, Who in their right mind… a blindingly obvious answer has now been revealed – No one!  Goop has admitted this was a covert experiment in conjunction with the NHS to detect early stages of dementia.

The contact details of all customers of the notorious Fanny Candles have been passed to the NHS so that very soon they can expect to be contacted in a screening process similar to the popular bowel cancer one, known affectionately as ‘shit through the post.’

It is hoped that early treatment of these victims may save the NHS millions.  When asked if she would be sharing the profits made from the venture, Ms Paltrow’s only comment was: ‘My lips are sealed’

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2020 by

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