Trump dismisses Coronavirus as ‘sad fantasy’

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On his return from the WTO Conference at Davos an under-the-weather President Trump has slammed reports of the latest potential world pandemic, Coronavirus, as ‘nothing more than pathetic and sad FAKE fantasy.’

Propped up in bed at The White House with a hot water bottle strapped on his head and thermometer in his mouth he told reporters: ‘These scientists are really getting on my nerves.  Where do they think they get off. First they give us that bunch of crap about Global Warming, which as we all know is only scaremongering, lies and negativity being put about by sad people.  Folks who are mad that the world of commerce is going from strength to strength and they ain’t on the gravy train themselves.’

Pausing only to almost cough his lungs up, vomit violently into a bucket placed by his bedside and having his drenched in sweat brow mopped by a nurse he added:  ‘And what about this load of baloney coming from China?  Who’s ever heard of Coronavirus for Chrissakes?  It’s made up.  All this is stuff is being invented by Democrat supporters hellbent on getting me out of office.’

The press briefing was suddenly ended when the life monitor Mr Trump was hooked up to started to emit a shrill continuous tone, but not before he rallied momentarily and shouted:  ‘I’m fine. Don’t worry, Donald J Trump is just fi…’

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2020 by

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