Dry veganuarists are compelling the general population to ‘dig deep’ and suffer their self-obsessiveness and stifling egocentricity for just one more week.
‘If I hear ‘you’re doing so well supporting me’, one more time, I think I’ll actually scream!’ announced office administrator, Clare Taylor. ‘I can’t take having to eat a chicken flavoured pasta pot in the store room anymore because the smell might offend people that only a month ago suffered dehydration from having first-degree meat sweats and from guzzling buckets of Prosecco.’
‘I respect what they’re doing from a health and conservation point of view, but why should I have to endure their cliched supportive platitudes, encouraging me to encourage them? We’re not in this together, and the only ‘gain’ I want is for them to take their ‘pain’ elsewhere. I guess I’m just tired. Its quite a shock to the system detoxing goodwill and peace to all mankind.’
Dry veganuarist Kieran Smatter, added: ‘Clare’s super-amazing. We’re going to get her through this last week of getting us through this last week. See how I say so, here, on my vlog.”
‘Next they want to do No-Fibruary’, and go through the whole month only telling the truth.’ said Clare.
‘It’s probably a good idea if I don’t do that either.’