Heston Blumenthal attempts to turn The Shard into 310m high food sculpture

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Mad scientist and bonkers chef, Heston Blumenthal, is said to be livid after planning permission for his latest project was turned down on appeal by London Borough of Southwark.  The madcap kitchen boffin had intended to ‘construct’ a full-size replica of iconic building, The Shard, for his new Channel 4 show, Heston’s Food Landmarks.

The scrumptious skyscraper was to be made from gigantic sheets of clear sugar caramel with gingerbread stick supports and located on waste ground adjacent to The Shard itself.   Following Southwark’s decision plans for Stonehenge made from huge sponge fingers and a burnt toast and porridge rendering of The Palace of Westminster look to be extremely doubtful, leaving the show’s future looking uncertain.

One disappointed fan said: ‘I was in the public gallery and the chairman asked what would have happened to the Heston’s Shard in heavy rain.  When Heston told him that as far as he was concerned Londoners were more than welcome to come out with bowls, spoons and cans of squirty cream to help themselves as the structure softened, the entire panel just mocked him.  Bunch of peasants.’

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Posted: Jan 25th, 2020 by

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