Two soon to be convicted Presidents have come up with a unique two state solution for the Middle East; which involves the creation of an ‘Israel A’ and an ‘Israel B’, while leaving Palestine ‘submerged in the C’. There are concerns that the agreement might fuel discontent among Palestinians, but as they have no access to electricity, where the hell, are they getting the fuel from?
An Israeli government spokesman said the new plan will bring peace to the Middle East, specifically one very large piece for President Netanyahu. It makes ‘reasonable demands’ of the Palestinians; that they give up Alsace-Lorraine, pay reparations to France and agree to ‘only see their kids only on alternate weekends’.
The White House denied that the treaty was humiliating, despite the new Palestine region being renamed ‘Donny’s Discount Warehouse’. Palestinians will be granted all the rights of normal citizens – if by ‘rights’, you mean ‘funeral arrangements’.
A US spokeswoman said: ‘Israel will shortly be annexing their illegal settlements. And as history has shown us, nothing goes wrong when countries start annexing one another. Anyway, the Palestinians raised no objections to the Treaty negotiations – particularly as we didn’t invite them’.