BBC ‘could be stripped of both B’s’

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The BBC could be stripped of both of its B’s as part of cost cutting plans. This would leave it as just ‘The C’. Critics have already pointed out that this might mean that when newsreaders or announcers referred to the ‘C’ viewers and listeners might think they were referring to the mass of salt water covering an increasing area of the globe, rather than a much loved medium wave broadcaster which has lost its way in the age of the modern information superhighway-net of today.

Tony Hall, departing DG of what might become the C commented. ‘I can see how the C idea might be confusing moving forward. That is why we’ve commissioned a special group of executives to see if we might be actually based at sea, like the old pirate stations, that appealed so much to younger listeners. That’s an audience we are finding hard to attract. There are lessons to be learned from Ed ‘Stewpot’, ‘Emperor’ Rosko and ‘Tony’ Blackburn. We’re also commissioning a special edition of W1A to satirise this process, because never let it be said the BBC cannot laugh at itself, even in its darkest hour. Although we are renaming W1A just ‘W’ for similar reasons.

But former Today presenter John Humphrys commented in his Daily Mail column: ‘I think the BBC should not be allowed any letters at all, because of its insistence on paying women as much as me. Many of these women are actually men dressed up as women so they can use ladies lavatories at Broadcasting House, for their own nefarious reasons. And they call this progress.’

He continued: ‘The BBC should be replaced, lock stock and barrel by no letters at all. It should be replaced with a noise, a bit like a dismissive raspberry. So an announcer might say ‘This is Thrrrp Radio 4 and here is what we can afford to bring you of the News from the Central London area.’

It’s understood Mr Humphrys will make the noise, for money, on a commercial radio station tomorrow. This station will probably be LBC which will, under new laws be able to call itself the LBBC once the BBC is replaced by the noise of the sea, which many people find restful and a welcome change from the strident voices of alternative comedians like that dead one with the horrid face, and even Lennie Henry.

Viewers in Scotland will have their own programmes but they will continue to be not much good.

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Posted: Jan 31st, 2020 by

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