Due to Brexit, the popular Thornton’s Continental chocolates selection will be changing its name to the Thornton’s Non-Continental None Of That Fancy Foreign Stuff Thank You Very Much Indeed chocolates. It’s thought that this move could make them a serious contender to replace the Fry’s Chocolate Cream as the favourite confectionery for people with an isolationist viewpoint.
In the post-Brexit assortment the Sicilian Mousse will become the Scunthorpe Mousse, the Seville Caramel will become the Swindon Caramel, the Chocolate Milano will become the Chocolate Milton Keynes, the Apricot Danish will become the Apricot English, the Espresso will become the Builder’s Tea and the Viennese Truffle will become the Wolverhampton Truffle. New introductions to the selection will be the Sour Grapes Brighton & Hove, the Lemon Leicester and the Gooseberry Aberdeen.
A chocolatier said that his years of travelling to Europe for chocolate inspiration have been replaced with day trips to Northampton, Eastbourne and Slough. A focus group of taste testers have provided comments on the new assortment as parochial, nutty and fruity.