A woman has worn a dress to work and all that is missing is some slow sleazy saxophone music playing while she walks to round off the inappropriateness, it has emerged.Sarah Mills, 36, decided against her usual business attire of trouser suits, opting for a dress that reveals the lower halves of her arms AND her legs, because she has given up all sense of professionalism and desire to be taken seriously.
‘I’m bored of being treated like an equal and spoken to in a strictly professional way, commensurate with my status as Finance Director. Dullsville,’ Mills said to reporters. ‘I want to be ogled at as soon as I leave the house and relentlessly objectified for being the rampant sin machine, which is, in essence, all I am. Hence the dress. Works a dream. Yes those are my arms. They really are partly uncovered, horny little tart that I am. And they come out of shoulders, which I might show a bit more of too if this doesn’t drive you all wild enough.’
‘I’m now a female Diet Coke advert – men just fantasise about me inviting them to stay late in the office and woman just think I’m a slut who’s set feminism back about 40 years. The power of the dress is remarkable, it really is, I feel soooo sexy. Hey, handsome. Wink! Hey, take a good look at that – it’s my arse. Don’t you want to pat it? Why not, are you gay or something?’
‘No, wingnuts. It’s obviously just a dress, for fuck’s sake. A. Dress. But sure, everyone feel free to lose your collective shit because that’s totally proportionate and reasonable. I might wear one again tomorrow just to fuck with you all over again.’