Chinese gambling syndicates are wagering up to 500,000 yuan (£50,000) on the demise of Ozzy Osbourne. The heaviest bets are reportedly being laid around the prophecy date given by Zhānbǔ Zhě, whose methods include green budgies picking out cards of fate and Waddington’s pickup sticks, but favours the use of I Ching divination. This has established that Osbourne is responsible for mankind being punished with coronavirus from the reborn bat whose head he bit off on stage 38 years ago.
Osbourne was born on 3 December, 1948, which was the Year of the Rat. Zhě said: ‘This year also Year of Rat, this mean bad for rat, this his fate.’ He has therefore predicted the early morning of 23 December as the time when death will occur at the age of 72 years. This will be death by Karma and according to Zhě, Osbourne’s death certificate is unlikely to reflect this as ‘Western medicine is primitive in understanding the ways of the universe’.
Challenged to answer the suggestion that he is responsible for coronavirus, Osbourne said: ‘Sharon! get this f-ing twat off me f-ing doorstep.’