37-year-old office worker Adam Hoffa has finally recognised the existence of mansplaining (whereby a male patronisingly explains a concept to a female that she clearly already understands) after he himself was mansplained to, during a work meeting.
‘I always thought that “mansplaining” was a fairy tale that only existed in the minds of confused women,’ Mr Hoffa said. ‘And that women just needed things explained to them in the calm, rational manner of larger-brained men.’
‘Such as how to do their jobs, or how to best unlock a particularly challenging door. But now, incredibly, mansplaining has been manifested into existence, as it has happened to me – a man.’
When asked how being mansplained to made him feel, Hoffa claimed he reacted entirely emotionlessly. ‘I wouldn’t say it made me “feel” anything, because feelings are for women. I merely got very angry and hurled a chair threw the nearest glass surface,’ he smiled.
When our reporter pointed out that this could well be regarded as an extremely emotional reaction, Hoffa responded by denying that anger is an emotion.
‘Emotions are things that make you cry, or look visibly sad. Anger is something that leads to a logical decision as to how you can best respond and take back control of your environment. Such as the decision to throw a chair through it.’
At the end of his interview, Hoffa took the time to apologise for any perceived lack of clarity telling our female reporter: ‘I’m ever so sorry. I’ve just gone through this interview without actually explaining to you what mansplaining is! Let me guide you through it, perhaps over a drink?’