Audi smashes two-metre land speed record

Audi

An Audi has smashed the land-speed record for a vehicle accelerating from a standing start and stopping dead within the space of two metres. The tinted-windowed white A8 was recorded by a speed camera on Manchester Road, in Manchester, travelling at 76mph in congested traffic.

Onlooker Tim Fenton, commented: “I heard a growl coming from a car in a queue of traffic. The growl turned into a roar as a slight gap opened-up in front of the Audi. The whole vehicle was shaking. Before I could complete a blink, the Audi had blasted forward six feet and stopped dead millimetres from the tiny Chevrolet Dinkum in front.

“The noise from the Audi’s turbo popping, the blinding flash from the speed camera mixed with inhaling plumes of smoke from the driver’s-window weed exhaust was an assault on the senses. More so for the petrified Dinkum driver who had braced for impact and clearly soiled himself.”

Known for their love of tailgating and flashing their lights at passive drivers in order to get nowhere in particular slightly quicker, Audi drivers have a pathological intolerance of standing traffic, making them ideally suited to attempt the two-metre world record.

The successful Audi driver has escaped a driving penalty for violating speed limits due to the number plate being one of the snide ones that scatters light, which also means the driver cannot be recognised in the Guinness Book of Records. The record beats the previously held record by the same vehicle of 75.8mph thirty seconds before.

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2020 by

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