Grant Shapps scraps petrol, diesel and hybrid cars from Wednesday

Kids Car

In a surprise development, Grant Shapps has brought the UK closer to neutral greenhouse emissions by at least fifteen years by scrapping the sale of all vehicles that produce greenhouse gases from next Wednesday ‘or Thursday at the latest’.

The move was welcomed by environmental groups but treated with shock by vehicle manufacturers who say they have firm orders until the middle of March. ‘It’s a bit short notice,’ said motoring journalist Alan Thorpe, noting that until today the industry had fifteen, maybe twenty years to prepare. ‘Perhaps he’s being a little hasty,’ suggested another analyst.

Electric and hydrogen fuelled cars will be the only vehicles able to be sold new from next week. ‘Even bicycles have been outlawed,’ noted Thorpe, who also says walking will be subject to a greenhouse tax due to the amount of CO2 people exhale while walking.

‘Shapps has got a firm grip of this ministerial lark, hasn’t he?’ said Prime Minister Boris Johnson today before insisting that all trains running on HS2 are coal based ‘to keep the nasty diesel types off the rails.’

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Posted: Feb 14th, 2020 by

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