Future census unnecessary ‘We’ll just ask the Chinese’

Census collector

The government has announced the upcoming census will be the last. Speaking to reporters Brian Parsons from the Office For National Statistics said: ‘We’ve made some enquiries and the Chinese government has assured us that they know everything about us, so next year will be the last where we run to the expense of printing up and delivering all those forms door-to-door.’

Meanwhile a spokesman for the global information giant Huawei  commented: ‘Plans for this arrangement were well advanced, however following recent developments with Britain’s roll-out of 5G technology, it may now only be possible to guarantee the results your government publishes as being no better than 35% accurate.’

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Posted: Feb 15th, 2020 by

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