UK in talks with China over high-speed import of Coronavirus


Boris Johnson is trying to find a cheaper way to bring the Coronavirus to the North of England. Previously the UK was relying on costly flights and cruise ships, but this deal would create a 7,000 mile rail link between Bejing to Birmingham and ‘all the lurgy we need’.

The controversial HS-Covid-19 line expects to be under budget, with a significant economy on staffing, as most of the staff will die. Government officials said there are no ‘concrete commitments’, as not using concrete would be a massive saving.

The China Railway Construction Corporation (CRCC) will have the task of sending one cough at 200 miles an hour, without interruption by any handkerchief. Mr. Johnson has already agreed to other Chinese infrastructure projects, such as Huawei 5G – which will be bringing a very different kind of virus to the UK.

After Mr Johnson ruled out the appointment of former Transport Minister Chris Grayling as an executive special logistics and construction consultant to help oversee the building of the line, the World Health Organisation breathed an enormous sigh of relief and went on to say that the only thing that can now stop the virus getting to the UK, is if Southern Rail were given the franchise.

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Posted: Feb 17th, 2020 by

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