Government seeks to attract time traveller tourists from the future


As travel from Europe to the UK becomes ever more complicated after Brexit, the Cabinet has decided to boost foreign currency reserves by attracting visitors travelling in space ships from the future, it has been announced.

‘There are literally billions of people yet unborn who’d jump at the chance of a visit to the Britain of 2019,’ Boris Johnson told a bewildered audience today. ‘We need to print brochures and force them through a rip in the space-time continuum to reach our clients living in the 22nd century. Britain has a lot to offer people from the future – the Royal Family, heritage sites, good pub food and fine fillies from Bulgaria. And all at 21st century prices.’

It is expected that time travellers could start arriving as early as next June, and some bed and breakfasts are already reported to be redecorating in the new Star Trek style. In fact, one such tourist has apparently been spotted in London and is being interviewed by excited journalists eager for a break from the Brexit negotiations. Gary Rushton has been giving details of his journey from the 22nd century to a sleeping bag on Hampstead Heath where he currently lives.

‘Personally, I’ll recommend 2019 Britain to all my friends when I get back,’ he said. ‘I’ve always wanted to see this country before the asteroid hit it in 2127. Ooops, should have said ‘spoiler alert’ shouldn’t I?’

Slipping through a wormhole in space-time to get back to London in 2019 ‘was a bit dodgy’, Rushton admitted. ‘My wife wasn’t so lucky, she got transported back to the Crusades and ended up in a sultan’s harem. Still, it was well worth it coming here just for the prices. I can’t believe you can get a large can of Special Brew for just £2,’ he said, before soiling himself and passing out.

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2020 by

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