Fertiliser to power ocean-going ships will come from crops rotting in fields

crop rotting

Nay-saying across the UK has been brought to a halt by vague assurances that an unlikely series of improbable events might happen.

‘This just goes to show that where Project Fear closes a door, Brexit opens a window’ said Brexiter Pete, from Herefordshire, ‘We built Concorde, the Channel Tunnel and the Euro-fighter through bi-lateral agreements before the EU even existed, so nothing’s stopping us doing more of the same now we’ve left the EU and it doesn’t exist anymore.’

A spokesman for Dominic Cummings, Boris Johnson, said he wasn’t surprised at the outbreak of optimism in the face of ‘Brexit blessings in disguise’.

‘Car factories closing down? They’ll invent teleportation, and we’ll have warehouse space to house the super-computer infrastructure we’ll need.

‘Isotope shortages for cancer treatment? Under-funding research into alternatives will culminate in industrial accidents giving birth to a race of super-humans with a range of mind-boggling powers adapted to prevail over evil.

‘And we can build a bridge from Scotland to Northern Ireland with the remnants of the Bridges we burnt during the Brexit process.

‘Northern Ireland might choose to become a part of Ireland? Well then, we’ll have built a bridge to Ireland at no extra cost – something the cynics said would never happen.’

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2020 by

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