Facial recognition camera matches member of the public to ‘him off the telly’


A van-mounted live facial recognition camera was deployed near Oxford Circus in London last week, however the surveillance operation was cut short after the recognition algorithm began responding to captured images with: ‘Ooh, it’s him off the telly!’, ‘She looks like a young Judi Dench’ and ‘It’s her at number seventeen’s boyfriend, but that’s not her from number seventeen – the two-timing sh*t!’.

‘It’s alarming to see biometric mass surveillance being rolled out in London. Never before have citizens been subjected to identity checks without suspicion, let alone on a mass scale,’ said Silkie Carlo of Big Brother Watch.

The algorithm also detected William Shakespeare 26 times near an artisan coffee shop, and more alarmingly, 7 of the last 10 Doctor Whos were recognised, despite operating nerds deeming the matches ‘impossible within the parameters of four-dimensional space time’.

Police were unavailable for comment, as was Dame Judi Dench, him off the telly and ‘her at number seventeen’s boyfriend’.

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2020 by

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