Many Heavy Metal fans have been horrified to discover that for years their t-shirts were accidently daubed with images of everyone’s favourite war criminal. Instead of ‘Eddie the Head’, they had ‘Tony the Arse’; who, over time, has become a ghoulish leering skull – with an extensive property portfolio.
When not laundering money for Saudi Arabian terrorists, Mr. Blair spends his spare time relaxing by laughing manically into the void, while not blinking. Gradually his face has transformed into an eerie representation of the end of days – or ‘PFI’s’ as he used to call them.
In recent years, Mr. Blair abandoned the traditional scythe, opting for an oar, which he would happily dip into any conversation where he was not welcome. Leading to the expression: ‘Nothing in life is certain, except Death, Taxes and Tony Blair attacking Bernie Sanders’.
The hour-glass Mr. Blair carries, closely tracks his time spent on the paid lecture circuit. A sulphurous spokeswoman explained: ‘The similarities are merely coincidental. One is a soulless cadaver, held together with bitterness, dried out sinew and scraps of flesh, responsible for countless innocent deaths – while the other is the Grim Reaper’