‘I will build a truly great and amazing border to encircle Camden’ says Boris

Camden Wall

Tory MPs broke into excited chants of ‘build the wall, build the wall’ when a hard border between Camden and the rest of London was suggested. Boris Johnson led the calls, suggesting Camden was not sending its best people to Westminster.

Donning a bright red ‘Make Westminster Grey Again’ baseball cap he said Camden was mainly sending policy analysts, marketing managers and bad street entertainers to the heart of London, and he wanted to stop any more Camden residents leaving the area in future.

Mr Johnson claimed Camden was plagued with gang violence, although he did concede it was pretty good place to occasionally score some good ‘charlie’ – or as he called it – ‘a bit of the jolly old whooshity-bosh schnizzle schnozzle’.

As the proposal began to gather strong support, many other ‘vibrant’ London suburbs were put forward as candidates for being sealed off. Peckham, where 1 in 3 residents admitted to being a member of a moped gang, topped the list. However, Tower Hamlets was rejected, as it was pointed out it has already sealed itself off from the rest of the capital.

Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn was outraged by the suggestion that only Westminster should be protected from some of the less desirable elements of London, demanding that the nice part of Islington where he lived be heavily shielded as well.

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2020 by

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