Calais ‘jungle’ eviction makes way for French aqua park

No splashing or staying

When the aqua park is finally completed, it will boast over 25 water slides, 6 wave pools, 3 restaurants, an aquarium as well as retail space.  The size of the project will make it the largest aqua park in France and the biggest ‘whitewash’ in Europe.  Officials believe the attraction will bring in much needed tourist money and revitalize the area for years to come.  While everyone is in favor of the aqua park, many residents of nearby Calais fear the park may overwhelm the small town and its picturesque squalor.

Although the refugees were upset initially at the prospect of having to move yet again, those concerns were quickly forgotten when they were presented with coupons good for 20% off the aqua park admission price when completed.  (Offer not to be used in tandem with any other promotion, only valid on weekdays and non holidays, additional restrictions apply, see for details.)  Even though residents of the ‘Jungle’ speak many different languages, one thing everyone can agree on is that everyone loves a good aqua park.

‘What can you do?’, asked Komal Nanjahni, an Afghan refugee.  ‘Yes, the additional strain of moving my family will be severe and even more humiliating than it has been already, but that’s a small price to pay for such an aqua park.  Did you see the plans?  25 water slides!  And we get 20% discount just because we’re refugees.  God bless you, Calais Aqua Park Association.  I knew we left war-torn Afghanistan for a reason.’

Don’t forget to log on to for more discounts and see how construction is progressing.  Become a preferred CAPA member today for only $19.99 now for a limited time only, some restrictions apply!


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Posted: Feb 27th, 2020 by

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