The White House has gone strangely quiet over invasion plans for Iran, claiming it was all a big misunderstanding and that there was no need for ‘face to face’ diplomatic meetings. Iran has welcomed the news and was sure it had nothing to do with its citizens coughing into oil barrels, sneezing on their missile systems and licking all the uranium.
Iran is seen as coronavirus hot-spot and subsequently the US had said they would prefer a long-distance relationship. A Pentagon Official said: ‘We need to respect their space – including their air space. And after due consideration, we’re happy to take their word about their nuclear programme. No need for us to poke our nose around in anything. Especially their handkerchiefs’.
‘We’re cool with the more fundamentalist aspects of Islam, if you want to cover up your women, that’s fine by us. In fact, here, have some extra face masks. No extra cost. Completely free. Here, take some hand gel, as well’.
In fact, so magnanimous are the US, they have promised to focus future invasions on the Kerguelen Islands – not because of oil but because they are 3,300km away from the nearest populated location. ‘These remote islands in the Indian Ocean are of great strategic importance, which is nothing to sneeze at. Which is precisely the point’