Ministers must self-isolate if they feel a gaffe coming on

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A Cobra meeting has been called following a dramatic rise in the risk of Government ministers making a damaging gaffe.

Members of the cabinet, along with the Prime Minister, have been advised not to travel to known gaffe-prone areas of the UK that have been badly affected by record levels of potential gaffe making opportunities. If they feel early onset gaffe making coming on, they have been asked to self-isolate.

These gaffe-prone zones include South Wales, South West England, South East England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Northern England.

The danger is such that the gaffe level has been raised from moderate to severe, as Ministers struggle to keep their thoughts to themselves.

A Whitehall spokesperson said, “We are concerned that the gaffe tipping point could be breached on such diverse subjects as Eugenics, Jamaican deportations, Harry and Meghan, people injecting themselves with Yorkshire Tea and anything else really.

We’ve seen massive surges in possible cock-up events that pose a serious threat to Ministerial careers. Self isolating will hopefully contain a major gaffe outbreak.”

The government says that a record amount of £3bn has already been spent this year on reinforcing gaffe defences but concede that there is always more that can be done.

It is understood that those most at risk include Jacob Rees-Mogg, Dominic Raab, Nick Hancock, and Michael Gove who, along with Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, have been safely evacuated to the Cabinet War rooms 1.5 Km below Whitehall and kept out of the public eye.

It is unlikely they will make any public appearances until the threat level is reduced.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2020 by

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