Greece applies for a student loan

largin' it!

Despite being from a business background and understanding and knowing what is an iva, Greek Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis fears that an EU bailout extension may not cover the cost of his dream to study Media at university. Although his country’s debt is running at 175% of GDP, a spokesman for Mr Varoufakis said he is also keen to fund three years of film watching, the opportunity to swim in a fountain and to ‘put a traffic cone on local statue’.

The key advantage of transforming the borrowed €240bn into a student maintenance loan, is that Greece will not need to repay anything until they earn over £21,000 a year; and by Mr Varoufakis’ own admission – ‘that’s never going to happen’. The other benefit is to allow Mr Varoufakis to return to academia and fulfil his ambition to stage a production of ‘HMS Pinafore’ for the Drama Society.

Obviously a student loan does not rule out the possibility of Greece defaulting on their debts but it does ensure they stay in the EU, if only to take advantage of the student eurorail pass. Ultimately Mr Varoufakis hopes that German Finance Ministers will adopt a more flexible approach and agree to star in his end of year film project.

A spokesman for Mr Varoufakis made it clear that he had no plans to squander the loan on a frivolous Gap Year, but would use the money wisely to go ‘crazy-nuts during Fresher’s Week’. He also reminded the press that going down the student route should make Greece ‘eligible for all manner of online discounts, 2 for 1 pints at the Student Union and help them to live on a diet of just baked beans’.

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Posted: Feb 28th, 2020 by

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