Government plans to hide UK in the fridge until Coronavirus goes away

boris fridge

UK PM Boris Johnson has been in frantic talks with Beko, Indesit and Hotpoint this week in an effort to create a fridge big enough to hide the whole UK population, in the hope that Coronavirus will get bored and move away while we’re pretending to be busy examining our meat.

Echoing his successful mission to evade journalists during last December’s election campaign, the tousle haired, Carrie pumping roisterer is banking that the virus won’t notice while everyone slips in behind the egg and cress mayo sandwiches.

After attempts to defeat the virus by giving it a job in the home office with Priti Patel failed to get the desired result, Health Secretary Matt Hancock announced the action plan from within the white goods department in John Lewis.

Several locations are being considered for the enormous cold store facility, while plans to convert the Isle of Wight into the world’s largest Smeg factory were deemed to be most appropriate.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2020 by

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