It can now be revealed that Bristol Police thwarted a plot to kidnap climate change activist Greta Thunberg and feed her McDonald’s when she visited the city last week to take part in a protest march.
Chief Constable Darren Page said, ‘Acting on a tip-off we took several people into custody who were questioned, cautioned then subsequently released as it was felt no laws have been broken.
The news was met with indignation and outrage by high-profile gammon and professional loudmouth, Piers Morgan, who hijacked his so-called breakfast news programme slamming the operation as a waste of police time and resources.
‘Miss Thunberg had no business to be there,’ ranted Morgan. ‘Inviting her was just symptomatic of this snowflake society we live in. It would have been time enough for police to act had something actually happened.’
Speaking on a phone-in today on BBC Radio Bristol one foaming-at-the-mouth Daily Mail reader Sam Thompson agreed.
‘This slip of a girl is leading the world on a merry and pointless dance. And look, if I hadn’t been stranded here in the middle of these never previously experienced and perplexingly high flood waters I’d have been there myself to protest against that bloody march.’
‘Climate Change is stuff and nonsense. Just a scare tactic by being peddled by vegans and muesli-chomping hippies who don’t want the world destroyed by commerce. Absolutely pathetic. Donald Trump is a world leader and if he says what I’m saying then we both can’t be wrong, can we?’