Patrons of a Shoreditch coffee shop were left in a heightened sense of confusion and disbelief when a man produced some kind of Windows-laptop from some his bag, instead of the standard issue MacBook.
One patron, Jasper Hess said, “it totally de-sensitised the ambience and visually killed the welding factory-slash-IT start up company vibe.
“It was black. With some kind of garish brand name written on it. He might as well have just taken a large dump on the ironic vinyl flooring. And who carries a ruck-sack anymore?”
“Then he ordered a ‘black coffee.’ What are they meant to do with that request? Just randomly select beans without knowing anything about his palate tolerance to roast-strength ratio? Good luck with that one.”
“He probably calls tea ‘builders’ and eats hob nobs, f**king heathen.”
“Each to their own? Err, no. This isn’t the north wherever that is.”