Leave voter and costermonger Baz Shipley an ill-informed idiot from Billericay in Essex has emerged from obscurity to become a prominent voice in the ongoing ‘blue’ passport row.
Mr Shipley gained notoriety after The Daily Mail highlighted his sustained campaign on Twitter, were he sends out upwards of two thousand tweets a day insisting the new document’s colour is ‘definitely blue 100%’.
It’s a view that’s put him at odds with the overwhelming opinion of every colour expert in Britain. All united in their opinion that the new passport is undoubtedly as black as a small jet-black booklet, wrapped in a black bin liner, placed inside a miner’s black lunchbox and buried ten feet deep under some particularly black coal in the deepest darkest mine in the world with all of its lights switched off.
However undeterred one of Shipley’s’ tweet reads – Bollocks! our new fantastic British passport is blue – simple as! It’s definitely not black cos Boris promised us Blue and I believe Boris. #NewBritishPassport #BlueNotBlack #IHateAllFuckingForeigners #WeWonYouLostGetOverIt #DailyMail #Brexit #TwoWorldWarsAndOneWorldCup
He told reporters, ‘I voted for Brexitand the single biggest reason I did was to get my BLUE passport. See cos I know that when I use it abroad this summer in Marbella them foreign airport staff and passport control officers will bow and scrape before me.’
‘Come to think of it I’ll likely not even have to hand it over cos they’ll just wave me through. Blue British passports show our superiority over all foreigners. That’s a fact.’