73,000 attend Under 9s football match

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In the wake of league football in the UK being postponed until April, over 73,000 fans, including parents, turned up on Saturday morning to watch an under 9s friendly. The impact of the coronavirus outbreak hit home as hundreds of thousands of sports fans faced the prospect of being unable to vent their emotions at sweaty sports stars.

On Midvale playing fields deep in the Yorkshire dales Dongleford Dynamos and St. Jorvik’s Ninjaz met in a friendly match. Dongleford manager, Ryan Plover, commented: “It’s been a worry, with the pandemic taking hold, who knows when teams would get to play again, if ever!

“I tweeted last night that we had a friendly, maybe our last game, and the news spread like wildfire. Thousands of cars arrived overnight. We’ve had helicopters landing nearby from all over the place, even Lancashire.”

Due to health restrictions each supporter obeyed a self-isolating sneezing/coughing/urinating minimum two metres distance from each other, stretching the crowd for half a mile in every direction from the pitch. League chairman, Eric Lord added: “The fans knew we couldn’t charge an attendance fee, so In a throwback to old time football they threw toilet rolls on to the pitch in appreciation. We collected more than we could possibly use.

“The players have written messages of thanks and drawn the usual cock and balls on them, and they’re now on eBay. The profits will keep the league going for years.”

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2020 by

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