Tory voter confused that he seems to have voted for socialism

Screenshot 2020-03-19 at 11.42.52

Despite his best efforts to keep Jeremy Corbyn out of No.10, Malcolm Lodge (62) was somewhat nonplussed to discover his Tory government were talking about nationalization, universal income and sanitizing Keir Hardie’s beard. The Coronavirus has cut through capitalism like a – well, like a virus.

In the face of a global pandemic a gig economy and private health care, are not what the doctor ordered. In fact, copies of Das Kapital are now proving as popular as toilet roll and at least twice as absorbent.

Archaic concepts like social responsibility, community spirit and washing your hands are back in vogue. Subsequently it turns out ‘key workers’ are nurses not CEOs.

Said Malcolm: ‘I voted against funding the NHS, free broadband and worker’s rights – instead, I appear to now be living in Cuba or an episode of The Good Life!’ Yet to date, the Government has only proposed massive bailouts for big businesses and multi-millionaires; said Malcolm: ‘Ahhhh, that makes a lot more sense now’.

 

Wrenfoe (h/t Titus)

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2020 by

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