US Vice President Mike Pence involuntarily jizzed all down his suit pants during Donald Trump’s latest Coronavirus briefing to journalists. Attendees at the briefings have grown accustomed to insufferable sycophant Pence’s long, loving gazes at the President, [read...]
Thames Water engineers report finding a huge 60-tonnes jizzberg blocking up a sewer in East London. Roughly the size of three double-decker buses, it is believed the berg has formed at record-breaking speed, due to huge numbers of so-called workers now spending more enforced leisure time in front of their laptops. [read...]
The ‘Cancel Brexit’ petition has passed 3m signatures in less than 48 hours, which is amazing. Particularly as ‘Vote Remain’ passed 16 million in 24 hours. At this rate ‘Cancel Brexit’ will achieve less than a quarter of the support, [read...]
Eight pints down the Bastard Arms, a large kebab from the Yuhariq Alkafir Grill, a piss in the church doorway, a puke on the kiddies swings in the park, and nearly-consensual sex with the wife. [read...]
