US Vice President Mike Pence involuntarily jizzed all down his suit pants during Donald Trump’s latest Coronavirus briefing to journalists. Attendees at the briefings have grown accustomed to insufferable sycophant Pence’s long, loving gazes at the President, his head angled attentively and a quiet expression of awe and pride etched on his attentive puppy dog face.
However, today’s remarkable new twist unfolded as Trump was reminding the world of his forthcoming Easter Miracle. Suddenly a gasp and a whimper came from behind the President’s right shoulder, as a visibly twitching Pence stumbled forward, grunting involuntarily ‘Oh my goodness, sir… that is just awesome… so aaaawwwwweesssssoommmeee…’
Damage limitation aides quickly ushered a flushed and now very drowsy Pence off camera but were unable to save his suit trousers. Dr Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases commented: ‘I’ve never seen a reaction like that before – usually during a Trump briefing I’m trying not to vomit.’